I Never Let You Go Read online

  When our father passed away almost three months ago, I decided to move back home to take over his company, Reynolds Contracting. Kelsey already worked for the company as head of accounting, and even though this isn’t architecture, I grew up around it. I watched my father build this company from scratch. It’s what led me to architecture and design. It’s my father’s legacy, and it’s my job to continue it.

  “Numbers are my thing, Finn, business is yours,” Kelsey had said when I told her she should take it over. I knew as a new mom, she didn’t want to run it by herself, so here we are.

  “So,” Kelsey says, settling a little farther into the chair, “do you want to talk about it?”

  I take a sip of the piping hot liquid and welcome the caffeine running through my veins. Hmm, do I want to talk about it? Not in the slightest.

  For the second time in ten years, Lauren left me alone without an explanation as to why she left. It’s not that I was expecting a romantic reunion of two lovers where we ended up having slutty wedding sex in the bathroom of the venue. To be honest, I’m not sure what I was expecting, but I sure as hell didn’t expect her to run. I left not long after she did, giving my mother an excuse that I hadn’t felt well, but I’m sure she saw right through my bullshit. She always did.

  I tossed and turned for a few hours before I came into the office to get my mind off Lauren.

  Did it help? No, not at all. Lauren is still heavily present in my mind like she always is, and what’s worse this time is that I can still feel her soft touch, the way she fit in my arms, and even though I showered, I can still smell her. Was seeing me so horrible that she had to leave her own brother’s wedding? I know Lauren felt it too. The way she settled against my body, the tension eased off her. Our breathing was synced. It was if all those years hadn’t passed with us apart.

  But, in my effort to focus, I did manage to get through a lot of the files on my father’s desk organized.

  “Nope,” I respond, settling back in my dad’s chair. Shit, my chair. This is all mine now. I feel a slight pang in my heart. Will that ever get easier?

  I stare down at the coffee lid—anything to avoid eye contact with her. But I don’t need to look at her to know that she is watching me. I can feel the intensity of her stare as if she were trying to read right through me.

  My brown eyes finally meet her hazel ones. She has a look of defiance on her face, and she’s waiting for the right moment, but I refuse to budge. “You know, Mom says she saw you two dancing.”

  Of course my mother and sister already spent time gossiping. “Did she now?” I quirk an eyebrow in her direction.

  My sister hides behind her coffee, but I can tell by the height of her cheekbones that she is smiling on the other side. “Uh-huh.”

  “Well, Mom has a big mouth.” I roll my eyes, but there’s a light-heartedness to it. My mother takes every opportunity she can to gossip, and if it has to do with my life, it makes her even happier. A part of me wishes she wouldn’t do it though, but I can’t help but smirk that for just a moment, she was back to her old self before Dad died.

  My sister tips her coffee toward me and winks. “Touché.”

  I chuckle and take another swig of my coffee just as my assistant, Natasha, enters my office with a bright smile on her face. “Good morning, Mr. Reynolds.”

  “Good morning, Natasha,” my sister comments with a snarky tone after Natasha ignored her in the room.

  Natasha jumps, clutching her chest dramatically, “Oh hi, Kelsey, I didn’t see you sitting there,” she says, before turning back to me. I look to Kels, confused as to how she didn’t notice her right there in front of us.

  “Here is your schedule for the day, Mr. Reynolds.” She holds out a stack of papers, and I accept them.

  “Thank you, Natasha, and I told you that you could call me Finn.”

  Her smile widens, exposing her perfectly aligned white teeth, and she nods. “Of course, Finn. Anything else I can get you this morning? Coffee?”

  I hold up the coffee cup in my hand. “Thanks, I’m all set.” And with that, she spins around and leaves the office. As I look over the papers, I catch the back of my sister’s head as she watches Natasha leave the room. She then turns back around, shaking her head. Did I miss something?

  “Could she be any more obvious?”

  “Obvious about what?” I set the papers down on the desk and rest on my elbows.

  Kelsey’s eyes nearly jump out of her head. “She wants you—bad. You didn’t notice the way she leaned over your desk with her tits on display when she gave you those papers or the extra sway in her hips as she left the room? Finn, she’s totally flirting with you.”

  What? I’ve never noticed that before.

  “No, she’s not. She’s just being friendly.”

  She rises from her seat, tossing her empty coffee cup in the trash can. “Whatever. You’re clearly in denial, or maybe you just have it bad for someone else.” She winks but doesn’t give me a chance to respond to her comment before she keeps talking. “Still want to get lunch today?”

  “Yeah, sounds great, Kels. I found some things I wanted to get your opinion on. I’ll swing by your office around noon.”

  She nods and exits.

  Being back home, as much as it pains me, has its perks—spending time with my sister is one of them. Kelsey and I settled in a corner booth at the little bistro around the corner from the office.

  “I don’t know how Dad managed with all that chaos in his office. I feel like I’ve spent my whole time here organizing the madness and making sense of it instead of getting actual work done.”

  “I tried to help, but you know how Dad had his ways of doing things.” Kelsey shrugs. “Why fix something that’s not broken,” she says in her best impression of our dad. We both chuckle for a moment before the mood turns somber.

  I sigh heavily. “Well, we need to make some changes around here, starting with a reorganization of basically everything. I spent most of the night reading some of the proposals floating around on his desk and shoved in random folders.”

  I have no fear when it comes to my clients—customer service was one of the top qualities that Nathanial and Michaelson saw in me all those years being employed by them. They were sad to see me go, but they understood that family came first to me.

  “You’re the boss man,” my sister jokes.

  “Don’t do that—we’re in this together.”

  She shakes her head. “No, this is now your company; I just work here, bro.”

  I roll my eyes. We agree to disagree. I only decided to fully take over on paper, but we’re a team all the way.

  “So what did you want to talk with me about,” Kelsey asks.

  “I was going over all these papers I found in one of dad’s desk drawers in an unmarked folder, and there were a few open-ended. Did you know he had a proposal to the local schools about updating the playground equipment? Some of his plans are pretty extraordinary, to be honest.”

  Kels gives me with a blank stare. She wipes her mouth with the napkin. “No, actually, I had no clue. I mean, he had mentioned something once about how he wished kids had something more, but I didn’t know that he had gone through drawing up plans.”

  Interesting.

  “Well, when we get back to the office, will you sit down with me and look it all over. I think Dad may have been onto something. It could be something good for business.”

  “Yeah, sure.” Kelsey takes a sip from her water. “So we’re just going to avoid the elephant in the room, then?”

  “Kels, I love you, but yeah, we are. There’s nothing to discuss—I saw her, we danced. I told her I missed her and wanted more than one dance, and you know what she did? She ran away, as in literally ran away. She left her own brother’s wedding to get away from me. I’m not sure how to deal with that. Maybe it was all a mistake and we weren’t meant to be. There’s nothing I can do but finally try to move on no matter how much my heart is telling me I never will. She’
s the one. I didn’t need that one dance to tell me so; it just made me even more crazier to know I can never have her.”

  Kelsey stares intently at me. “Who are you, and what did you do to my brother?” Her hazel eyes are dark and full of fight.

  “What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Her question throws me off.

  “It means that my older brother Finn has always fought for what he wanted and has always gone after his dreams. Are you trying to say that all that talk with Dad at my wedding was bullshit? Yeah, I heard all of it, Finn. You were in rough shape, and I went to check on you because seeing you like that broke my heart—it still does. You need to fight for her. It kills me to see you just giving up. If there are two people are meant to be together, it’s you and Lauren.”

  I’m not sure Lauren believes that though. I run my hands over my face, exhaling loudly.

  “I just don’t know what to do when she clearly doesn’t want to talk to me.” I don’t mean to raise my voice at her. She’s not the one I’m mad at; I’m frustrated with the situation, with Lauren, with myself. Kelsey is just trying to help.

  Kelsey reaches across the table and places her hand on top of mine, giving it a gentle squeeze. “Then you figure out how to talk to her. Just don’t give up, Finn.” I nod. “And definitely don’t give in to any of Natasha’s flirting. There’s a reason her name spelled backwards is Ah Satan.”

  I bellow out a laugh. Trust me, even if I wasn’t hung up on Lauren, the last person I would try to get with would be my secretary. You never mix business with pleasure. I still think Kelsey is crazy for thinking Natasha flirts with me. Yeah, she dresses up a little too much for an office setting, but I’m sure she’s harmless.

  Lunch is silent after that, and we head back to the office so that I can focus on things I can change and figure out, like this job.

  Adjustable wrench.

  Allen wrench.

  Alligator wrench.

  Who the hell knew there were so many different wrenches? And those are just the ones that begin with the letter A. So much for a productive Sunday. I roll my eyes and huff in frustration. A clogged drain in the kitchen sink is what landed me at the local hardware store to stare at the many different wrenches. Like seriously? Who needs all these wrenches?

  I reach up and grab a monkey wrench in one hand and a stubby wrench in the other. I look back and forth between the two. Eeny, meeny, miny—

  “Come here often? You look like something threw a real wrench in your plans for today,” a voice says, chuckling from behind me, interrupting my decision making. Not just any voice though— I close my eyes and even out my breathing. Just because he’s back, does that mean I’ll be seeing him everywhere?

  “Does that line actually work?” I spin around to see Finn staring at me.

  “I don’t know, you tell me?” He tilts his head to the side.

  I sigh heavily. “No. I’m already irritated that my Sunday plans got ruined. The last thing I need is cheesy pickup lines, especially coming from you.”

  He clutches his chest. “You wound me, Lauren.” Lauren, not Lo. His expression softens as he approaches. “But seriously, you look lost right now. Anything I can help with?”

  I turn back around and settle on the monkey wrench, placing the other wrench back on the shelf. “Nope, I’ve got it all taken care of. I can fix the kitchen sink all by myself. I don’t need anyone’s help.” My voice becomes harsher in the last sentence, which I didn’t mean, but I’m already frazzled.

  He runs his hand over his chiseled jaw, looking down at the wrench. “Got it all under control, huh?” I want to slap that smug look off his face. Is he enjoying this?

  “Yup,” I say, making a popping sound on the p. I begin to pass by him when his fingers lightly clutch my elbow, stopping me.

  “If you have this all under control, then you know that you’re about to buy the wrong wrench.”

  My mouth gapes. ”Umm.” I look down at the floor, shuffling my feet. My shoulders sink. “Okay, so maybe I have no idea what I’m doing, but I watched a YouTube video before coming here.”

  He smirks and covers his teeth with his lips, holding back his laughter. “Right, a YouTube video. Why don’t you let me help you? I happen to own a pipe wrench, and I know how to use it.”

  “I think I’m good.” I pull my arm from his hold, set the wrench back on its shelf, and begin to pass him. “I’ll just call a plumber.”

  “Lo,” he says over his shoulder, and I stop. “It’s Sunday. No one is going to be available until tomorrow. Just let me help you.” I close my eyes, hating myself for what I’m about to do.

  “You honestly know how to fix it?” I exhale, spinning around to face him, resting my hands on my hips.

  He nods. “I mean, I won’t know exactly what the issue is until I see it, but yes, I can fix it.”

  I groan. “Fine.”

  The subtle upward quirk of his mouth tells me all I need to know: he knows that he’s won. “All right, well, give me your address, and I’ll run home and get my tools and can meet you there.”

  I hesitate for just a moment before giving in and give Finn my address.

  “Don’t be late.” I poke at his chest before walking away and leaving him in the aisle. I hope this isn’t a mistake.

  Twenty minutes later, there is a knock on my front door. I stand there looking at the door handle, debating whether or not I should open it. He knows you’re home, Lauren. Your car is in the driveway. Just open it. The sooner I open the door, the quicker he leaves. I brush my hair out of my face and adjust my clothes before opening the door and having the breath knocked right out of me at what I find. Finn is leaning on the doorframe with a toolbox in hand. He changed his clothes from what he was wearing earlier in the store and is now in dark-wash jeans and a tight white T-shirt. Does Finn need to look good in everything he wears? Hell, he could probably make wearing a paper bag look sexy.

  “You gonna let me in, or should I try to fix it from here,” he asks, snapping me from my perusal of him.

  I roll my eyes and move to the side. “Come on, let’s get this over with.”

  He follows me into the kitchen. I wave my hand to the sink. “Have at it.” I hop on the counter and let him work in his element.

  He sets his toolbox down on the floor. First, he examines the sink, confirming the clog before opening the cabinet doors underneath. He crouches down and twists so that he is on his back. The bottom of his T-shirt rides up, exposing a small line of hair that leads from his belly button to underneath his jeans along with muscles I have never seen before.

  He gets to work using the pipe wrench.

  “What’s on your mind, Lawson? I know your mind is racing.” He continues to work while I watch his muscles flex.

  I freeze. “How can you know that? You can’t even see me; you’re under the sink.”

  He chuckles, and that sound makes my throat dry and my panties damp. How does this man still affect me like this all these years later?

  “That’s true, but I know you. If I had to guess, you were staring out somewhere with a million thoughts going through your head and pulling your bottom lip between your teeth.” He scooches out from under the sink and raises an eyebrow in my direction.

  I release my bottom lip and laugh awkwardly, running my thumb over it.

  “I rest my case.” He disappears under the sink again. “So what’s on your mind. Talk. I’ve got all day.”

  I’m sure he doesn’t want to hear my thoughts—they range from this was such a bad idea to what would it be like to straddle his waist right now while he is halfway under the sink. I could grind against him, exploring the new ridges and muscles that have transitioned his body from a boy to a man over the years.

  The clanking sound of wrenches against the pipe and a few curse words from under the sink break me from my fantasy thoughts.

  “Still waiting for you to start talking.” He goes quiet for a moment. “It’s just me.”

  Exactly, you’r
e you, and I’m me. I sigh heavily. “I’m sorry. I umm, shouldn’t have run out on you like that. I definitely shouldn’t have left my brother’s wedding reception in the middle of it, but it was rude for me to just leave you there on the dance floor.” I fidget with my fingers, picking at the chipped nail polish. “It was just seeing you for the first time in all this time, and then you spun me around in your arms. It just brought up all of these memories, and I wasn’t prepared for how it would make me feel. It was like my head and heart were battling it out.”

  Silence fills the kitchen. “All fixed.” He comes back to a sitting position, wiping his hands and a smug smile on his face.

  “Go ahead and check it out.” He tilts his head toward the sink.

  I hop off the counter and test the sink, and what do you know? The sink is no longer filled with water, and when I turn the faucet on, it drains perfectly. “Thank you,” I try to say calmly, but it comes out more of a squeal.

  Finn extends his hand, and I stare at it. “Can you help me up, Lo?” I place my hand in his, and I don’t know if it’s the use of my nickname or my hand in his that has my stomach doing backflips. My lack of upper-body strength has me overexerting myself to help him.

  He rises to his feet, although I’m not sure my lack of strength did anything to assist in that. His hand is still in mine, sandwiched between our bodies, and his thumb traces circles on the top of my hand.

  I look up at him and find him staring intently at me. My eyes travel down to his lips when he parts them, slightly sucking in a breath.

  Would kissing Finn be the worst thing in the world? My head and heart tell me no, but my swollen clit is telling me otherwise.

  We continue staring at each other, slowly closing the distance, when Kate’s voice comes from my living room.

  “So, I know Dani and Kyler gave us the spare key for emergencies only, but do you think raiding their pantry and liquor cabinet before they get home counts as an emergency?” she says, making her way to the kitchen. I push myself off Finn, with such a force that I fly back into the countertop and grip the edge to find my balance. “By the way, whose truck is out—” She enters the kitchen and notices Finn and me standing now with a greater distance than before. “—side. Oh, hi, Finn.”