I Never Let You Go Read online

  “Kate, always nice to see you.” He leans down, beginning to pack up his tools from the floor and the counter.

  “What are you doing here?” she asks, her attention going back and forth like a pinball machine between Finn and me.

  “I, uh, umm, had a clog in the kitchen sink, and I ran into Finn at the hardware store while I was lost among the wrenches. He offered to fix it.” I bite my lip nervously.

  Kate crosses her arms and nods.

  “You shouldn’t have any more issues with this, Lauren.” Finn stands with his toolbox in hand. It shouldn’t hurt hearing him call me Lauren instead of Lo, yet it somehow does. It’s not the first time he has done it today, but each time is a slow dig. He walks toward the front door, and I ignore the staring from my sister and follow him.

  “Thanks again. I’m sure you had better things to do on a Sunday afternoon than this, so I appreciate it.”

  “I will always make time for you.”

  “Oh.” I swallow thickly when I catch his eyes drifting to my mouth when I made the O shape with my lips. “Well, thanks.”

  “You said that already,” he smirks, “but you’re welcome. Anytime. You know I’m great with my hands.” He scrunches his face in disgust, and I blush. Yes, I’m very aware of how great he is with his hands, especially when they are around me, on me, and in me. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that.”

  “Yeah, no, it’s fine.” I smile.

  “I better go, before that one in there”—he points toward the kitchen—“starts wondering what’s taking so long.”

  “Too late, I’m sure. I’m prepared for the Spanish Inquisition when I return. Maybe it would be better for me to leave with you just to avoid her altogether.” We both laugh at my joke, but I notice his eyes darken. I need to get him out of my house before I jump into his arms and really explore those muscles.

  “Take care, Lo.” He steps forward and tucks a stray piece of hair behind my ear. I hold my breath with his closeness. I wave shyly bye as he closes the door behind him.

  “So, Finn came over, huh?” Kate’s voice makes me jump when I don’t realize that she was right behind me. Shit, how long was she standing there?

  I walk past her, ignoring her looks once again. “As I said, we ran into each other at the hardware store, and Finn offered to fix the clog.”

  “To what, shove his snake in your drainpipe?”

  I whip my head back in her direction. ”What? One, this isn’t some cheap porno, this is real life. And two, please don’t refer to my vagina as a drainpipe.” I purse my lips together and pretend to gag.

  “Okay, fine, all joking aside, what the hell did I walk into?” Kate says, following me into the kitchen.

  I begin cleaning up, really just anything that I can do to avoid the topic of conversation.

  Kate hops up onto the counter where I had been sitting earlier, confessing my feelings to Finn, and I glance over from the corner of my eye and see her with her arms crossed. I know she won’t give up easily. I spin around and lean against the counter in defeat.

  “I don’t know what to do.”

  “Look, I know you two have a messy past, but from where I’m standing, that boy is very much still in love with you. Anyone can see it. And you either love him too, or you don’t. Sooner or later, Lauren, he is going to stop fighting for you, so you need to ask yourself, are you going to let him walk away? Or are you going to grow a pair of lady balls and admit you still love him too.”

  “You don’t know what you’re talking about. I sat there apologizing for leaving him at the wedding and blabbing on about feelings, and he had no response. It was like he didn’t want to hurt me with what he had to say.”

  Kate grips my shoulders and shakes me. “You forget, I know Finn just as well as you do.” I raise my eyebrows in question. “Okay, so maybe not as well as you do.” She winks. “But Finn was my friend too. When you hung out with him, so did I for the most part, so when I say that I noticed the shift in the air in this kitchen just moments ago and the way he was looking at you, then yes, that boy—no, man—is definitely still in love with you.”

  Between Kate saying that she believed he still loves me mixed with the mess of emotions that I have flooding my mind, and throw in now two almost kisses, I’m more confused than ever. Can I risk giving him my heart again in hopes that history won’t repeat itself?

  “It was like my heart and head were battling it out.”

  It took everything I had not to respond to her when she was confessing why she ran away from me at the wedding. I was thankful she couldn’t see my face, and while I couldn’t see her face, I could hear it in her voice. I did that; I caused that pain. What would have happened had her heart won over her head at that moment? I could hear the desperation in her voice as she spoke that said she was just as lost as I was. Is it possible that she felt the same things I did? Could we ever get past that?

  I also can’t get out of my head the way she responded to me, to my touch. If Kate hadn’t shown up and interrupted, would she and I have kissed? You could have cut the tension with a knife. As I drove back to my sister’s house, I wondered how her conversation with Kate went. Could she sense something was up?

  I need to stop thinking about Lauren and focus on my meeting with the principal at Central Academy as I open the doors to the main entrance. The past few days, Kelsey and I pulled all of Dad’s files and research for this project, and I made my own revisions to it. I was grateful when Principal Estep accepted a meeting with me to discuss moving forward.

  I’m going over the talking points Kelsey and I discussed over breakfast this morning, and I don’t notice the door to the main office swing open until I am slamming right into a warm body. Paperwork spills to the floor. I hold my arms out in front of me to steady the person. A familiar aroma of strawberries hits my nostrils, and the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.

  No way, this must be a dream.

  “Fuck!” I hear the voice mutter as she leans down to gather the spilled paperwork off the floor. I should help her, but I’m frozen as I watch her pull the paperwork to her chest and rise to her feet, brushing off her clothes. She still hasn’t even looked up to see that it was me. “Why don’t you watch where you’re going. You could have run someone over.”

  “I’m so sorry. I should’ve been…” I notice the exact moment she recognizes my voice. Her body tenses, and her eyes slowly trail my body before meeting mine, not allowing me to finish my statement.

  Out of all the people I run into, literally run into, what are the odds that it’s Lauren fucking Lawson. Of course, her middle name isn’t “fucking,” it’s Elizabeth, one of the many facts I know about her.

  “Are you following me?” A crinkle forms between her eyebrows, and I force my thumb into my fist to keep from smoothing it out like I used to. I would give any excuse to touch her though.

  I stare at her. Her long dark hair is flowing down her shoulders in loose curls, her sunglasses perched upon her head. I allow my eyes to wander over her body, the dark gray pencil skirt hugging to her small curves, and her black button-up blouse. My mouth waters at how gorgeous she is.

  “Finn?” Her voice is so soft, bringing my attention back to her face.

  “I’m sorry, what?”

  “I asked, are you following me?” she repeats, her jaw clenching and her grip tightening on the paperwork in her hand.

  “No. I have a meeting with Principal Estep. Wait, what are you doing here?”

  “Umm, I work here.”

  Well, shit. Things just got a little interesting. “You work here?” I look around the halls of the school. Students are slowly beginning to trickle in.

  “Yeah, last time I checked, that was my name outside my classroom.” She points to the classroom across the hall from where we are standing where I read “Ms. Lawson” on the nameplate beside the door.

  Someone walks out of the main office and forces Lauren to step closer to me. I shove my hands in my pockets to keep
from touching her.

  “I had no idea this was your school.”

  She shrugs. “I guess we haven’t really had time to catch up, have we?”

  I look down at my shoes. “I guess you’re right. How’s the sink, by the way.”

  Lauren does the last thing I expect and covers her mouth to hide a giggle. I tilt my head, confused at what brought on the laugh.

  “Something funny?”

  She holds her hand up. “Sorry, just something that Kate said after you left.” She waves her hand off, not wanting me to press. “But the sink is great. Thank you again.”

  “As I said, I’ll always make time for you.”

  I follow the trail her eyes take looking me up and down. I smirk internally, not wanting to give it away to her that I caught her checking me out. I see something behind her eyes as she pulls her bottom teeth between her lips. She is clearly rooted in thought. Has she been thinking about that moment just like I have?

  “Hi, Miss Lawson,” a small blond boy says as he heads into her classroom. Right, we’re in the middle of her school, of her job, where I am about to meet with the principal to take on a project that might bring me here once a week.

  “Well, I better go.” She begins to move toward her classroom, but I’m not ready to let her run away just yet. I reach out and graze my fingers on her arms. Her body once again reacts to my touch as she sucks in a deep breath. I add that to a win in the “Finn Reynolds has a shot” column. Her eyes first look down at where my fingers are wrapped around her bicep. Her breathing evens out as her eyes ever so slowly drag up my body to mine.

  “Have a good day, Lauren,” I whisper just soft enough for her to hear.

  She swallows thickly.

  “Goodbye, Finn.” I can see her walls starting to crumble around me already.

  She pulls out of my grasp and walks toward her classroom.

  I watch her enter her classroom. Shit, I’m not here to talk with Lauren—this is for me, but I can’t help but think how crazy it is that this is her school. How long has she worked here? Was that why my father chose this school? Did Lauren know about it? I must push all those thoughts to the back of my mind and focus as I enter the office.

  I patiently wait in the chairs outside the principal’s office after letting the secretary know of my arrival. Wow, I seriously don’t feel like I was this nervous waiting outside of the principal’s office as a kid. But this is everything for the company, taking my father’s plans to a whole new level.

  “Mr. Reynolds.” I look up from my lap. “The principal will now see you,” the young secretary announces from her desk and extends her hand in the direction of the office. I grab my bag and rise. When the door opens, a shorter brunette woman greets me.

  “Principal Estep, thank you for meeting with me.”

  She extends her hand in mine. “Please, call me Ashley. Why don’t you have a seat.” She extends her hand to the seat across from her desk.

  I take a seat and pull out the papers from my folder.

  “So, what can I do for you today, Griffin.” Ashley sits back in her chair, folding her hands in her lap.

  “Please call me Finn; my father went by Griffin.”

  “I am so sorry to hear about your father’s passing. I spoke with him a few times. He had wonderful ideas for this school.”

  “Thank you. Actually, that was why I wanted to meet with you today. I’ve recently taken over for him after his passing, and I came across his files for the project he wanted to put together for you. While he had some brilliant ideas, I came up with some new ideas that I think are even better.”

  Ashley moves her clasped hands from her lap to her mouth as she rests her elbows on her desk, indicating that she is interested in hearing more. She hasn’t kicked me out yet, so that’s a start.

  I hand her copies of the documents and drawings I drew up, and she accepts them before leaning back in her chair.

  “As you can see here, I’ve taken my father’s plan of rebuilding the playground and expanding it to an entire outdoor learning center. Not only is this a place where kids can play during recess, but it brings the experience of learning outdoors.”

  Ashley looks over each drawing I have mocked up after researching lots of outdoor education resources.

  “You know, a child discovers the world through their senses.”

  Her head pops up at that. “One of my teachers has that exact saying hanging in her classroom. I have always believed in that as well.”

  If I had to guess, I would bet that teacher is Lauren. She’s the one who told me that years ago. It’s one of the reasons she became a teacher—to help children grow and learn in all ways possible. Without making it awkward, I settle for “That teacher is smart.” I try to keep my facial expression neutral. I don’t need to be spilling my history with Lauren to her boss—it’s no one’s business but ours.

  Ashley nods before looking back at the documents.

  “I have provided several examples of benefits for the kids for outdoor learning.”

  She sets the paperwork down on her desk and folds her hands over the top of them. “I see here, Mr. Reynolds—Finn,” she corrects herself, “that you have done your research, and this takes the ideas that I had previously discussed with your father to a new level, one that I hope we can move forward with.”

  My eyes widen, and I can’t hide my smile. “Seriously?” I quickly cover my mouth. “Sorry, I’m just rather excited about this project.”

  She smiles gently. “Understandable, as am I. I would like to run it past some folks here and discuss budgeting. I can get back to you in the next day or two. Is that okay?” Ashley stands.

  I follow her lead and stand too, flattening my tie against my shirt. “Yes, of course, and if you need me to provide any more information from my team, please let me know.” I extend my hand to hers, and she shakes it.

  “I will be in touch in a few days, and we can discuss further.”

  I grab my bag and follow her to her office door. “Look forward to it. Thank you for meeting with me.”

  I leave her office and give a brief wave to the secretary, who is smiling brightly at me. Once out of the main office and in the hallway, I feel as though I can finally breathe.

  Step 1 - Success.

  “Okay, students, if you could please take out your spelling books, we will get started reviewing today’s words.” I hear the soft voice call out from the classroom directly across from where I stand. Her door is open, so when I walk over to observe Lauren in her actual element, I stand off the side so that I can see her, but she can’t see me. I watch her perched against her desk with a notebook in her hand, the inside of the book facing her students. I observe her classroom setup: bold colors and signs hang from the walls, and just behind her desk is a plaque with that exact quote I mentioned on it. I can’t hold back the smile that appears on my lips.

  When she moves to walk around the desk, I press myself flat against the lockers outside, hoping not to make a sound to alert her that I am there. I quickly glance back in her classroom, and she is now at the board behind her desk, writing a word with a colorful marker.

  “The first word is brother. Who would like to use it in a sentence?”

  I hear a chorus of “Me! Me! Me!” before she calls on one student.

  The classroom is the place where she belongs, where she’s in her element. I could watch her teach for hours, but I don’t want to get caught by her or the principal to jeopardize this future relationship. Not that we have a relationship or anything, but I’m sure it wouldn’t look good if Lauren found me standing outside her classroom watching her without her approval. I take one last glance at her before turning and making my way out of the building to my car.

  “Mr. Reynolds.” My assistant’s voice comes over the intercom, breaking my attention from the computer screen in front of me.

  “Yes, Natasha.”

  “I know you asked not to be disturbed, but I have a Mr. Kyler Lawson on the phone for y
ou. Would you like me to send him to your voicemail or would you—”

  Kyler? Why is he calling? I cut her off before she can finish her sentence. “You can send him through.”

  Is Lauren okay? The phone rings, and I take a deep breath before I pick up.

  “Hey, Kyler, I’m surprised to hear from you. To what do I owe the pleasure?” I relax back into my chair.

  “Yeah, sorry to bother you during the workday.”

  “Oh no, it’s fine, just up to my ass in paperwork.” I stare at the stack of papers on my desk.

  He laughs on the other end. “Yeah, I know the feeling. I’m just headed from one meeting to another playing post-honeymoon catch-up.”

  “Oh, that’s right, how was your trip?”

  “Wonderful. Amazing.” He drifts off to silence, although I could hear the excitement in his voice. “Right, so anyway. I passed your dad’s office—well, yours—this morning, and thought I might see if you wanted to catch up this evening. I realized I didn’t get your number at the wedding, so I hope it’s okay that I had to call the office.”

  “Yeah, no, that’s fine. Feel free to call anytime.” I laugh, realizing that we said we would catch up yet never actually exchanged info—guess we both had more important things on our minds.

  “What time works best for you? I’ll be in the area all day,” Kyler says.

  “Five thirty work for you?” I look at the time on my phone. That should be plenty of time. I’ve been working so much later these days; then again, not like I have someone to get home to. My sister and brother-in-law have been more than accommodating for me lately, but I want to give them their own time with their family.

  “Perfect. How about meeting at Arnold’s Tavern? It’s a few blocks down from your office.”

  I know the place—I’ve wanted to check it out, just haven’t had the time. “I look forward to it.”