I Never Let You Go Read online

  He nods. “It would be a good change for him and Andy to get away and start somewhere new.”

  “What about Courtney? Will she not come out too? You never mention her when you talk about them.”

  Finn’s face falls.

  “Umm, Courtney passed away a few years ago giving birth to Andy.”

  Before the words are even fully out of his mouth, I am off my chair and pulling him into my arms. Why hadn’t he told me this before?

  “Lo, it’s okay. I mean, it was rough—she was so young, leaving behind Jax a new dad. Andy will grow up without his mom.”

  I wrap my arms around him tighter and bury my head in the crook of his neck. “I’m so sorry. I should have been there for you for that, and for your dad.”

  Finn’s arms tighten around my waist at the mention of his dad, and the dam breaks. It kills me knowing that I wasn’t there. I didn’t even go to Griffin’s funeral. It hurt too much. I’m not sure I have cried this much in years as much as I have the past few days. I pull back, and Finn laces his fingers behind my neck as I rest my forehead on his.

  He presses a tender kiss to my forehead before placing his back against mine. “When my sister and Chase called with the news of my dad, I wished you had been there. I wanted to call you and hear your voice.” He shakes his head. “None of that matters now. From this day forward, it’s you and me. One hundred percent Lo and Finn with total honesty. I’ll tell you when you’re being stubborn, and you tell me when I’m being an ass. You’re it for me.”

  Finn adjusts us, pulling me into his lap. I rest my head on his shoulder while we sit in silence eating breakfast.

  “I meant what I said—I could get used to this. I like you here.” I lean in, closing the distance between us.

  He takes another bite of french toast and feeds me the next bite. “There’s no other place I’d rather be.”

  Spending the weekend curled up with Lauren in my arms was heavenly, especially when we spent most of it naked, making up for the lost time. We are currently sitting on her couch with her feet in my lap while she reads, and I have an episode of The X-Files on while I massage the balls of her feet. I teased her when I saw it under her “continue watching” cue on Netflix when she used to give me crap for being obsessed with it.

  I stop, and she looks up over her Kindle. “What?”

  The corner of my lips turns upward. “I realized that we hadn’t had a proper first date yet.”

  Lauren scrunches her eyebrows and sets the Kindle down in her lap. “Umm, babe, we had our first date sixteen years ago.” Shit, has it really been that long?

  I pull at her ankle, dragging her closer to me. Her Kindle falls to the carpet. “True, but we haven’t had our official second first date since you agreed to be mine.”

  “Oh.” Her lips form the perfect O as she climbs into my lap and links her hands around my neck.

  I settle my hands on her hips and run my thumbs along the exposed skin. “Tomorrow night, I’m taking you out.”

  I kiss her passionately, pushing my tongue in her mouth and swallowing her moans.

  I lift her off me and stand. I grab my keys and head toward the door.

  “Where are you going?” She whines and pouts, and it’s adorable. I can’t help but smile at her.

  I walk back to her and cup her cheek, rubbing my thumb over her soft skin. I realize I must be certifiable for leaving right now, but I’ve got my work cut out for me. “I’ve got some planning to do. And if I stay here, we both know you will find some way to distract me.”

  The blush on her skin and the fire in her eyes tells me that my girl has no problem with that idea.

  “You didn’t mind the distraction while you were in the shower this morning.”

  Oh, if only she knew how much my balls were screaming at me for walking away from her. I press a kiss to her lips. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  Lauren follows me to the door but doesn’t walk outside.

  “Hey, Finn.” I spin around just before reaching my car and see her leaning against the door with a dreamy look in her eyes. “For the record, I’ve always been yours.”

  And I hers. Tomorrow is going to be the best second first date in the history of first dates. I had my work cut out for me, and I have just the idea as to whose help I needed.

  Me: I’ll pick you up at 7. Dress warm. Love you.

  Those were the only details I gave her about my grand plan tonight no matter how many times she tried to bribe me with sexual favors. I came, no pun intended, close to caving but held my ground.

  I’m lying on a blanket on the fifty-yard line just like we had all those years ago. We may be moving forward but I wanted to bring us here tonight to remind us of where we’ve come from, and all we’ve been through to get us here.

  On the way here, we stopped at a local sushi spot and picked up an assortment of things.

  “I can’t believe you eat this stuff now.” Lauren smiles as she feeds me a piece of eel nigiri.

  “More like, I can’t believe there was a time when I didn’t.” If I knew how intimate feeding each other sushi was, I would have started eating it a long time ago. Especially as I watch Lauren try to fit the larger rolls in her mouth. Even I’ll admit some of these are a mouthful.

  “So what made you finally give it a try?” she asks, popping a piece of ginger into her mouth.

  I sit back with my palm on the ground behind me. “After you and I broke up, I kind of lost myself. I didn’t enjoy cooking anymore, it brought up too many memories of being in the kitchen with you. And I definitely didn’t make our meatballs until recently.” She sets her chopsticks down and watches me intently as I continue. “Courtney was a terrible cook—”

  “I doubt she was any worse than Haylee,” she mutters under her breath but loud enough for me to hear.

  “—and with mine and Jax’s long hours, we got to know lots of the takeout places. I got tired of eating Italian and Chinese, and Courtney suggested we try the new sushi joint that had just opened up down the street from our building. And I went, even though I figured I would just be ordering a pizza on the ride home. But turns out, I rather enjoyed it.”

  “But how did they get you to eat it?” She resumes eating the roll in front of her.

  I chuckle. “Jax actually paid me $50 to eat a piece.”

  “Ahh, so rewarding you in sexual favors wouldn’t work, I needed to offer cash,” Lauren teases with a devilish smile on her face.

  My eyes pop open. “Woah, when did you ever offer sexual favors in exchange for me eating sushi?” I definitely would have tried it way earlier than twenty-four.

  Lauren shrugs and winks, picking up the last piece of spicy tuna and feeding it to me. My shoulders relax at how delicious it is.

  “There was this one time that Jax and I even competed in a spicy-tuna-roll challenge. We had to eat ten spicy tuna rolls, each one upping the heat level. I tapped out on roll number five—and I love spicy food—but oh shit, Jax made it to roll ten. He was so proud of himself, but boy did he get sick after that. Courtney was pissed because they were supposed to leave the next morning to go to her best friend’s wedding, but he was stuck at home all day. So, I ended up taking care of him while she was gone.”

  “Sounds like Jax was lucky to have you.”

  I shake my head. “Nah, more like I was lucky to have him.”

  After finishing just about all of our dinner, I gathered up our trash and dumped it in the trash can near the bleachers before joining Lauren back on the blanket.

  As I retake my seat, she is staring at me with her head tilted to the side. “You amaze me, Finn Reynolds. I can’t believe you brought me here of all places. But you sure we’re not going to get in trouble for trespassing?” Lauren looks around cautiously. I wrap my arm around her waist, pulling her back to my chest. We’ve already been here an hour without anyone stopping us. I love that she is always worried.

  “No, Coach Wilson retired , but Coach Burke is now in charge. And I reached o
ut to him and got permission and had his help setting this all up. You know, some of my best memories are here.” I look around the stadium, leaning back on my palms. “All of them include a moment with you. I fell in love with my best friend here, and here we are, sixteen years later, back right where we started—same place, same spot, same boy and girl. In all my life, I’ve only ever loved exactly one person. You.”

  “Damn,” she sniffs and shifts in my arms. “Baby, you have quite the way with words. You are giving any book boyfriend I have ever read a run for their money.”

  Oh, she has no idea. I plan to set the bar pretty high compared to those fictional characters.

  I rotate her so that she is now facing me. I tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear and wipe a falling tear. “I just speak from the heart. And my heart belongs to you, Lauren Lawson.” I hope one day to be able to say a new last name with her name. No, not just any last name, but…mine.

  “Wow, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were trying to get laid out here, Mr. Reynolds.” I press a kiss to her temple. She settles back in my arms.

  “Well, it seems to me that the best relationships—the ones that last—are frequently the ones that are rooted in friendship. You know, one day, you look at the person and you see something more than you did the night before. Like a switch has been flicked somewhere. And the person who was just a friend is suddenly the only person you can ever imagine yourself with.”

  “Did you seriously just quote X-Files, trying to claim it as your own?”

  I shrug. “I never said it was my own.” I shove her jokingly with my elbow. “However, I am impressed that you remembered that.”

  She laughs. “How could I not remember that when you forced me to watch every episode. The big bad quarterback had such a hidden nerdy side.”

  “Forced?” I place my hand over my heart. “Oh no, if I remember correctly your face would light up when I would say we were going to watch X-Files.”

  “That was only because it gave me an excuse to be in your arms.”

  “I feel so used. So then what was your excuse for watching it without me?” I look down at her, and she blushes. She opens her mouth and closes it a few times, not thinking fast enough for a fake response. “Uh-huh. Don’t worry, babe, I’ll keep it our dirty little secret.”

  “Oooh, I like the thought about being your dirty little secret.” She laughs.

  “Baby.” I tip her chin to look up to me. “You will never be my dirty little secret. I plan to shout from the rooftops any chance I can, announcing how much I love you.”

  I’m currently leaning over Natasha’s desk, reviewing my calendar, when the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. It’s as if I can sense her before I even see her. I look up to see Lauren walking—well, more like skipping to me. I’ve noticed a little pep in her step the past few days.

  I step around to the front of the desk as she approaches and swoop her into my arms.

  “Hey, baby, what are you –”

  She cuts me off by fusing her mouth to mine. I feel the tension in my shirt as she grips it, pulling me closer to her. I run my hands through her hair, holding her in place. It may have only been a few hours since I tasted her before we both left for work. While I’m not complaining, I wonder what she is doing here.

  I pull back, and my thumb brushes the soft skin on her cheek. Her smile reaches those beautiful brown eyes.

  A throat clearing next to us forces us both to turn our heads. I should step away from Lauren, keep it professional, but I don’t want to let her out of my arms. Plus, it’s my office, and I can do what I want.

  “Lauren, this is Natasha, my assistant. Natasha, this is Lauren, my—”

  Lauren steps out of my grasp, and I lightly graze her fingers, intertwining them with mine. I just need to touch her in some way. She extends a hand to Natasha.

  “Girlfriend,” Lauren interrupts. “We met before, well, just not officially.” She steps back, wrapping her arms around my waist. Her fingers dig into my skin, and I can’t hide the smirk on my face. Not only did I not miss the way she emphasized the word girlfriend, but the way she is holding me is as if she’s staking her claim—the same way I used to hold her back in high school or college. As if I were marking my territory for the world to see that Lauren Lawson was mine.

  “It’s nice to meet you, Lauren.” Natasha’s eyes bounce back and forth between Lauren and me.

  “Natasha, can you make sure I’m not disturbed for a while?” I don’t wait around for her to answer before pulling Lauren into my office and shutting the door.

  Once the door is closed, I pull Lauren toward my desk. I sit on the edge, hiking up a pant leg to sit comfortably. With my legs spread, Lauren settles between them.

  “You know, that was rather sexy out there.”

  Lauren plays innocent, but I can see right through the act. “What are you talking about?”

  I trail kisses along her neck. “You know that part where you were totally marking your territory.” I nip her skin in between words, causing Lauren to gasp. I love that after all this time, I still affect her this way.

  “Why, Mr. Reynolds, I have no idea what you’re talking about. I was simply just introducing myself to your secretary.”

  “Uh-huh. Right.” I smile against her lips. Lauren all but pissed on me like a dog marking his territory, and I have to say seeing that side of her has never been sexier.

  She presses a palm to my chest, pushing me away before I can kiss her. Her eyes darken, and it is the sexiest thing I have ever seen. “But she better get it in her head that you. Are. Mine.”

  Having her here with me, I don’t want to talk about my assistant. I grab her ass and pull her closer to me; I’m sure she can feel my cock hardening at her proximity. Well, office sex would be a first for us.

  I’m just about to suggest it when my office door flies open, and my sister walks in unannounced. Not that I would expect anything less of her.

  “Really? Is this what it will be like from now on?” She motions to where Lauren is standing between my legs and my hands still on her ass.

  I can see from the corner of my eye, Lauren’s cheeks flush.

  “Consider it payback for me entering your office when Chase stops by.” I laugh, never actually having caught my sister and her husband in a compromising position. Thank God.

  Lauren tries to pull away, but I keep her close.

  “Whatever.” She rolls her eyes at me before turning to Lauren and smiling. “Hey, Lauren, it’s always a pleasure to see you.”

  I scoff, dropping my forehead to Lauren’s shoulder. “It would be a pleasure if you hadn’t interrupted. I told Natasha not to have anyone disturb us.”

  “Ha!” She throws her head back in laughter. “Silly brother. Don’t you realize that that doesn’t apply to me? I’m your sister, so I do what I want.”

  She shrugs, and I can feel the vibrations of Lauren’s body from her laughter, watching us interact.

  I pull her tight against his body. “And yes, Kels, this is something you should get used to. Lauren and I aren’t going anywhere.”

  Kelsey yanks Lauren out of my arms so fast that I worry she got whiplash, pulling her into a hug. “It’s about time my brother got his head out of his ass. I’m so happy for you.” When she releases Lauren, she claps her hands together. “Oh my God, you need to come over for dinner. I know Chase is dying to meet the girl who had my brother a hot mess for years. And I know Finn has probably been blowing up your phone with tons of photos of Liam, so you could finally meet him too. Finn is such a softie when it comes to him.”

  “Kels,” I warn.

  She waves me off. “Whatever, Finn, I’ll just save all the juicy details for later.” She turns back to Lauren and uses her whisper-yell voice. “We’ll talk later, Laur,” she says, just to get a rise out of me. While I’m not sure what they will talk about, I love the idea of the two of them being close again. We both come from a tight-knit family, and it’s important to bo
th of us.

  “Umm, don’t you have work to do?” I quirk an eyebrow at my sister, hoping she gets the point to leave.

  “Actually, yes, I do. So, Lauren, I’ll see you soon, right?”

  “Yes, that’d be great. I look forward to it.” Lauren waves, reluctantly stepping out of my grasp. No, that’s the opposite of what I want, especially with Kelsey now leaving.

  “Yay!” Kelsey jumps in excitement. “I’ll let Chase know, and we can find a night when he’s not at the station. You two have fun.”

  I groan as she exits, leaving the door wide open.

  I turn to find Lauren sitting in my office chair. “So, a softie, huh?” she teases.

  I walk around her and spin the chair so she is facing me and brace myself on the arms of the chair. “Baby, you know there is nothing soft about me.”

  Her eyes drift to my crotch, and I smirk.

  I am just about to press my lips to hers when there is a knock on the door. I close my eyes and huff out a breath before turning to find Natasha standing there. “Sorry to interrupt, but I have a Jaxon McAdams on the phone. He said he had been trying to reach you on your cell, but you didn’t answer.”

  “Oh, okay. I don’t even know where my phone is. Send him on through.”

  Lauren leans over the desk and hands me my phone, showing three missed calls from Jax. “Oh, thanks, babe.” My office phone rings.

  I pick up the phone. “Hey, Jax, hold on a second.”

  “Sure.”

  I place the call on hold and turn to Lauren, getting up from the chair.

  “I should get going. I’ll see you later?” I nod as she leans up and kisses me. I’ve been staying over Lauren’s most nights, really only going home for clothes. We haven’t talked much on the subject of moving in. Yes, we lived together once before, but she hasn’t approached the issue yet. But then again, neither have I. Things are going amazing right now.