I Never Let You Go Page 18

  “Fuck, I’ve missed you,” I manage to say when his rough hands slip under my bra, massaging my nipples between his thumb and forefinger. He tugs and twists causing my eyes to roll to the back of my head.

  “Tell me, Lo, where have you missed me? Have you missed me here?” He bites my skin where my shoulder meets my neck, sending shivers down my spine. “Have you missed me here?” His fingers slide up the hem of my skirt and find my lace panties soaking wet. He tugs them to the side and thrusts two fingers inside. I gasp for air at the feeling of pleasure already taking over my body. His fingers continue to slide in and out, preparing me for him.

  His fingers slowly drag out of me, coating me with my wetness before he continues to travel south. My breath hitches, the closer he gets. Finn slowly drags his finger around my puckered hole, coating me with my own arousal, before his teeth nip on my earlobe. I moan louder than I should in a public place. Hell, we shouldn’t be doing any of this in a public place.

  “Lauren, did you miss me here?” I squirm in his hold as he breathes my full name. My mind drifts to the last time he took me there. Breaking me free from my fantasy memories, Finn slams his fingers back into my pussy, and I feel my body start to tighten. The only sound filling the bathroom is the friction of his fingers mixing with my wetness.

  Finn continues to fuck me with his fingers while using the other hand to pull down his jeans and free his hard cock. I bite my lip in anticipation, knowing how much he is going to stretch me. His voice is a mix of desperation and playfulness. “Are you ready for my cock, baby? You better buckle up because this is going to be a quick and hard fuck.”

  Before I have a chance to respond, Finn slams into me with such a force, it literally takes my breath away. I tighten my grip on him, my nails now digging into his flesh. “How could you ever think that I could want someone else when I had this.” He continues to pump in and out of me. He places one hand behind me on the mirror while the other firmly holds my hips.

  I close my eyes as I let the orgasm take over. “Lo, open your eyes. I want your eyes on me as you fall apart.” I open my eyes and hold his gaze as the climax rips through my body. Finn joins me over the edge with one last thrust. Our heavy breathing fills the small space.

  Once we have both come down from our high, Finn pulls my underwear fully off and shoves them in his pocket once he situates his pants back and tucks himself in them. I hop off the counter and adjust my top and skirt.

  “What are you doing?”

  My brows furrow at his avoidance of the question—I kind of need those. He spins around, smiling a genuine smile. He steps up to me, and I am very aware that we just had sex, let alone in a bar bathroom. Finn brushes a stray hair behind my ear. “I’ve always loved the freshly fucked look on you.” I face the mirror and take in my appearance—all aboard the Hot Mess Express.

  Finn places his hand on my hips, leaning down to my ear. “Come on, let’s get out of here. We still have a lot to talk about, and my dick is dying to be back inside you.” He laces his fingers with mine and kisses my knuckles. He leads me out of the bathroom after making sure the coast is clear. I’m not ready to face my family just yet. We sneak out the back door at Lucky’s, and he drives us back to my house.

  After waking up alone for the past ten years, there is no better feeling than having Lauren in my arms again. There was a time when I didn’t think it would ever happen again. And now that it has, I promise never to let her go again.

  I feel her chest rise up and down, and her breathing has finally evened out. There is a slight sheen of sweat covering both of us. I lived out my fantasy pulling her to me as soon as her front door closed, hoisting her in my arms and making her come against the door and the couch before we finally made it to the bed. I think it’s safe to say I wore her out.

  I run my fingers up and down her bare back. She stirs, propping her head on her fists on my chest.

  “If this is a dream, I hope I never wake up.”

  “Baby, I promise this is real.” My smile matches hers. I drag a stray piece of hair back behind her ear, and she reaches up, grabbing my hand and pressing her lips against my palm. Before every football game, she would kiss my palms, giving me good luck.

  This is us, Lauren and Finn.

  She snuggles in further, laying her head back on my chest, and I wrap her up in my arms and place a kiss on the top of her head.

  “You really came to Seattle?” I ask her. We haven’t allowed us time to talk about the past yet. Maybe that had been our mistake before, that we were so focused on the future rather than the past.

  “I did—six weeks after you left. I was miserable here. The distance between us was growing, and I just wanted you, nothing else mattered. I flew out there, ready to fix things. I was so excited to get us back to a better place. I was prepared to fight, I was prepared to make up, but what I wasn’t prepared for was seeing you with your arm around another woman.” Another woman? What is she talking about? Lauren explains more of what she saw, and I hate that she can remember this day so vividly. And then as if the imaginary light bulb goes off in my head…

  Six weeks after I left.

  Blonde walking down the street with me.

  The day I bought Lauren’s engagement ring.

  Courtney and I were on our way back to the apartment complex. It was a beautiful day out, and I loved that I lived in the center of everything. I took advantage of walking in the city often.

  I turned to her. “You really think she’s going to like this?”

  “Finn, while I haven’t met her, you’ve talked nonstop about her since you arrived. I can tell that she loves you. Why she said no, I don’t know. I mean you’re a great guy, but this ring is a symbol of the love you two have for each other.”

  I slung my arm around her shoulders, pulling her in to me. In the few weeks I’d gotten to know her, I’d come to love this girl, just like I loved my younger sister. She called me out on my shit, similar to how Kate used to, and told me all the time that I needed to make it right with Lauren. I loved that even though Court had never met Lauren, she talked about her as if she had known her for years. I thought the two of them would really hit it off. I couldn’t wait to get Lauren out here to meet them.

  Court rested her arm around my lower back. “Plus, if she doesn’t like the ring, you can always give it to Jax. I’ve been hinting for a while.”

  I threw my head back in laughter as we approached our building. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

  I opened the door for her, and she paused before entering.

  “Finn, it’s all going to be okay. She loves you and you love her. That’s all that matters.” Court then pressed up her toes and kissed my cheek.

  I smiled down at her. “Thanks. I hope you’re right.” We then entered our building, and I searched for flights home.

  I was in the middle of planning our forever while she was reliving the nightmare of her past. My heart breaks into a million pieces as I try to imagine what Lauren went through. If our roles were reversed, I’m not sure how I would have handled it. I hold her tighter.

  “You just looked so happy, and I thought I fucked it all up and lost you.” Little does she know that the smile on my face wasn’t because of Courtney; it was her. I had just bought the ring I was planning to put on her finger.

  I explain who Courtney was and what I remember from that day, leaving out the fact we came from a jewelry store. Her arms around me tighten as if she never wanted to let me go, and I’m okay with that.

  “Baby, I am telling you the God’s honest truth, it’s only ever been you. Ten years and no one could compare to you.” I go to continue when I feel something wet on my chest. “Are you drooling on me?” I joke, but when I lift her chin, I see that her eyes are glassy with tears.

  “What’s wrong? Are you okay?” How did things take a turn so quickly?

  “No, I’m fine.” She wipes her tears, and I adjust her in my arms. “I was just lying here thinking about all the time we missed�
�all the moments we’ve missed over ten years. If I had known that me saying no was going to lead to the end of us, I would have said yes. I should have said yes. I wanted to say yes.” She would have said yes. I stare at her and process that thought as she continues. “I was so caught in my head with fear that we would turn into my parents, but you aren’t him. There were so many what-ifs running through my head. I should have fought harder for you. I was just scared.”

  I cut her off from continuing, pulling her up into my lap. She settles, straddling her thighs on the outside of mine. “All that matters is that you and I are here now.” We can come up with endless what-ifs, but none of them matter anymore. What matters to me is that Lauren is mine. I love her, and while she hasn’t fully admitted it yet, I know she loves me.

  “I am never going to leave you, Lo. You are stuck with me.” I cup her cheeks so that she reads my lips, but she pulls back out of my grasp.

  “But you did leave me,” she barely chokes out.

  “I know I fucked up. I should have told you I was leaving but that I would be back. It all happened so fast, and I thought I could quickly fly to Seattle, do what I needed to do while giving you the space you needed to figure things out, and then come back and get the girl. But it almost backfired and I nearly lost it all. When I heard your voicemail, I was sitting in the airport, and I couldn’t get to you fast enough.” I plead with her so that she understands that I didn’t leave her on purpose, and the air shifts between us.

  “You didn’t lose me.” She shakes her head and runs her fingers through my hair, tugging gently on the ends. “I’m right here. I didn’t need long to figure it out, only because I already knew you were what I wanted; it just took my head a little longer to catch up to my heart.” The nervous, scared woman from moments ago has been replaced with this confident woman with a loving heart, who means the world to me.

  She looks down at our naked bodies and the way they fit together, her hair now falling in her face. When she looks back at me, I swipe the hair out of her face and smile. With my hand gripping the back of her neck, I fuse my lips to hers. I capture her moans as I kiss her. My hands travel down her body, and I feel her physically shiver.

  I break the kiss, and she drags her nails down my chest in protest. I groan and lift her hands as I thrust my already hardening cock against her pussy. “I love that I still affect you this way,” I breathe in her ear.

  I palm her bare breast, earning another moan from her mouth. I lean down and suck on one of her hardened nipples. Her hand goes to the back of my head, clinging me to her body. I continue my assault on one breast before moving over to the other. Her pussy is now dripping and sliding along my cock.

  Back and forth.

  Back and forth.

  “Baby, if you keep doing that, I might come before I’m even buried deep inside you.” She grinds once more, teasing me with a devious vixen expression on her lips. Oh, she knows exactly what she is doing.

  I grip my shaft in one hand and use the other one wrapped around Lauren’s waist to lift her slightly. I close my eyes as I lower her down on me. Sliding into Lauren is like coming home.

  “Finn,” she breathes once I am fully seated inside her, and I open my eyes to meet her beautiful brown ones staring at me as if she was staring into my soul. “I love you.”

  Those three worlds spin my world around. If it weren’t for my cock deep inside her, I may have floated right away. Those three worlds seal the final cracks within my heart.

  “I love you too, Lo, so much.”

  “God, I’ve missed hearing you say that.” She begins to move slowly up and down on my cock.

  “Always you. Only you.” I pull her chest flush against mine, and she steadies herself with her hands on my shoulders.

  This time when we make love, it’s not frantic and wild like before. It’s slow and passionate, and we take our time savoring the moment until we both fall over the edge wrapped in each other’s arms and panting heavily. I spend the rest of the evening worshiping her body as we make up for lost time until we eventually pass out in each other’s arms.

  I wake up to an empty bed. Was last night all a dream? I reach for the pillow and bring it to my nose and inhale. I can still smell him on the pillow.

  We’ve missed out on so much, and we need to make up for lost time. Now that I have him back in my life, the missing piece to my heart, I’ll be damned if I let him go.

  The smell of coffee and bacon and the sound of Maroon 5 gets me to hop out of bed. I throw on Finn’s T-shirt that sits on the floor in the pile of discarded clothes. I bring the material to my nose and inhale. It brings back the whirlwind of the past twenty-four hours from going to the lowest of lows believing that Finn had left me to the highest of highs of the pieces of my heart being put back together as Finn and I exchanged I love yous. I guess a part of me never stopped loving him.

  I quietly make my way down the stairs. When I am just outside the kitchen, I see Finn standing there in only the jeans he wore last night. They hang low on his hips, revealing his muscular back, and I want to run my tongue along the dimples above his waist. I lean against the doorframe and enjoy the view in front of me without making a peep.

  I bring my thumb and forefinger to my lips as I watch Finn make his way around my kitchen as if this were his home. I quickly cover my mouth to hide my laugh as I watch Finn shake his ass and sing rather poorly to Maroon 5’s “Sugar,” even bringing the spatula to his face as a microphone.

  Just as I am about to enter the kitchen fully and make my presence known, my front door opens, startling me.

  “Fucking hell, Lauren! Do you not answer your phone?” my sister’s voice booms in the living room. Shit, where is my phone even at? I make a mental note to look for it later. I spin around to see not only my sister standing there but the dynamic preggos, Dani and Haylee. All three have their arms crossed and eyebrows raised as if they were waiting for me to explain. I’m pretty sure that if I looked down at the floor, at least one, if not all, would be tapping their foot.

  “Hey.” I wave sheepishly and pull down on the hem of Finn’s T-shirt in hopes that I am fully covered. “What the fuck are you guys doing here?” Okay, breathe, Lauren. Just get them out as quickly as possible, and then I don’t have to answer a million questions about the half-naked man performing a Super Bowl halftime show in my kitchen just feet away.

  My sister-in-law speaks up first. “We were worried about you.”

  Kate takes a step forward, and I nervously look over my shoulder, mentally willing Finn to stay where he is. “Well, the last time Finn bombarded you, you disappeared, and the next morning I came here to find you hungover as hell like a frat boy on pledge week wallowing in self-pity.” I cringe, hoping Finn didn’t hear how pathetic I was. “So, I figured with your Houdini act last night, we might find you in the same shape, so I brought Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum over here for reinforcements.”

  Haylee rolls her eyes at my sister’s comment. She knows we love them; it’s just too easy to rile them up these days with their pregnancy hormones.

  Kate looks me up and down and narrows her eyes. Something catches my eye behind her as I see my bra hanging from the railing on the stairs. How did I miss that when I came downstairs? She begins to turn to follow my line of sight, but I stop her.

  “Well, as you can see, that’s not the case. I’m just fine. So, thanks for stopping by.” I try to usher them out quickly, but then I feel his presence behind me. If that wasn’t enough, all three of the girls have their eyes wide and their mouths open.

  Finn breaks the awkward silence. I feel his front pressed against my back. He leans down and presses a kiss against the top of my head. I can’t help but smile. “Good morning, ladies. Do you all want to stay for some coffee and breakfast? I made plenty of bacon.”

  “Umm, no, we should be getting home. Just came to check on Lauren to make sure she was okay,” my sister says.

  Finn wraps his hands around my waist, pulling me tightly agains
t him. “Nope, as you can see, she’s fine.”

  “Good to know.” Kate salutes before she tugs on both Dani’s and Haylee’s hands, pulling them toward the front door. Using her twin intuition, she gives me a stern look, and I know that means We will definitely be talking about this later. I hear Haylee whine, “But there’s bacon.” Finn and I both snicker as the door closes behind them.

  He spins me in his arms. “Good morning.” He leans down and grazes his lips against mine.

  He laces his fingers in my hair when I deepen the kiss. I finally open my eyes when I no longer feel his lips on mine. “Good morning. A girl could get used to this kind of treatment in the morning, you know.”

  “Me too. Come on, I made breakfast.” Finn laces our fingers and pulls me to the kitchen. It smells incredible in here.

  “Yep, a girl could definitely get used to this treatment.” I take a seat at the island, and Finn sets a coffee mug in front of me before he turns around to finish making breakfast. I stare at him over my coffee mug. The muscles rippling in his back. How right this feels for us. He peeks over his shoulder and catches me staring, and I don’t even try to deny it, so I just smile bigger and hold his gaze before he turns back around.

  “Well, I could definitely get used to you wearing my clothes again. It’s a sexy look on you.”

  He places a plate of french toast and bacon in front of me before pulling out the stool next to me and taking a seat. He lifts my feet into his lap.

  “So, what was in Seattle?” I ask as Finn swipes a piece of bacon from the plate and feeds me the other half.

  “Well, in order to keep up the workload and maintain the timeline of the project for Central, along with the other projects we have going on without running me into the ground, I need to bring someone else in. And there was only one person I wanted for the job, so I flew to Seattle to offer it to Jaxon.”

  “Your best friend?” I’ve never met him, but when I do, I plan to thank him for being there for Finn all these years. Finn has told me briefly about him and his son, Andy. I will have to apologize to Courtney for this whole misunderstanding. Years of cursing at a woman who I thought had replaced me in Finn’s life, but really she was helping hold him together and pushing for us.